At over 300 lbs., I thought if I could just lose the weight, everything would finally feel right... and in a way it did. But not because I hit a goal weight or fit into a smaller size.
It was because, during the process of losing the weight, I also started shedding everything I had been carrying that wasn’t actually mine. The roles and the expectations, the shoulds and the yes’s that felt like they wanted to be no’s.
I began to realize that I had spent a lifetime behind masks that kept me hidden, kept me safe.
The fat, funny friend. The high-performing, high-achieving professional. The hands-on mother. The faithful wife. The devoted Christian who never felt brave enough to question aloud the things that didn’t make sense.
The woman who made time for everyone else but kept waiting for the right time to show up for herself.
I did all the things I was supposed to do. I played all the roles. And I got really good at it.
But behind the smile was a woman who felt disconnected from her own life. Her own soul.
I didn’t feel broken, but I didn’t feel whole either.
And that’s when the unraveling began.
My body was the physical manifestation of how out of alignment with my truth I was. And the day I realized that was the day my healing began.
Ultimately, my transformation wasn’t about losing weight.
It was about losing the masks - all those versions of myself that I had created to stay safe and accepted.
And I began to remember. I began to heal. I began to shift. That is when I began to walk the path home to myself, and it changed everything in ways I never could have imagined when I started my weight loss journey.
As I navigated this new normal - thinner, lighter, and exposed in ways I had never experienced in my adult life, I felt lost, lonely, and afraid.
Sure, parts were exciting and full of happiness at what I had accomplished. But I did not know how to be authentic in a world I did not trust to love me as I was.
And still, I knew I could not put the mask back on and end up right back where I started.
So I kept going. I kept figuring it out. Learning. Growing. Shedding. I kept saying yes to myself and no to what no longer felt aligned. And through so many trials and new experiences, I found my way home.
I became transformed inside and out. I was the Phoenix. I burned down what no longer served me and rose from the ashes.
And that is when The Eden Shift was born.
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